I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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