Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
