i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
