on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
