Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
