She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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