do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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