I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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