wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
