I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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