Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
