Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
