There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
