I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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