i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
