well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
