we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
