and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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