If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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