That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
