Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
