Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize