did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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