Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
