My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
