I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
