Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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