i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
