Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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