You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
