How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I am morally bankrupt
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
