You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
