Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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