Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Screwed.edu
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
