Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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