You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
