I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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