i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
