He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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