smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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