Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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