Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
