Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
