He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
