i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
