She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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