hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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