Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
