my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
