from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
