it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
