My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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