You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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