so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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