Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
