It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
